The Past.

it was my first time being in a relationship & everything is so new to me, and of course people make mistakes right ? so here it goes, there was this girl that really means so much, at first our relationship was fine, but after the incidence where her sister find out about us, where she been told by her sister to end our relationship. i was so depressed and sad for that. days past without her seems so dull and long but then while i was sitting on the couch on a very random day she texted me & i replied & slowly be get back together :) so yeah. days go by, years passed. and i realised that something is wrong with this relationship, i mean we both realised this ? idk. i did my best to fix it, but it doesn't seems so work out 'cause i can't help it but blamming her for everything without knowing that i was wrong too, and so our relationship reach for the 4th years anniversary on july 23 2009, but then all of my dreams and hopes were shattered into billions pieces on december 23 & that was the darkest day of my life where we 'officially' broke up. never once i imagine living this life without her. it was harddd for me, but nothing cant stop her from walking away or just make her look back just for awhile. no. she made her decision and its really over this time. and here i am writing this for my blog telling things that i never told her or have the chance to tell her, explain.

my love is really pure, honest and sincere. it just, the way i "love" her isn't right, i treated her so badly and i'm sorry. since that day when we get back together. it was like a second chance for me & i was starting to get paranoid over everything. i know. i was afraid to lose you for the second time and with the thought by doing that it'll make it all better and that's the only way to keep her close, but i was wrong, so wrong. it actually makes her far from me. i was blind. i was lost on this thing called LOVE. 

it's 2011, two years passed without i even knowing and you still here, in my mind. i get back all the flashback memories of us everyday. but i'm getting used  to that eventho it hurts.  i alwaayys wonder if i ever crossed your mind even just once ? hmm i guess never. well, time heals the wound really, but not fully. i learned a lot of lesson from you. thank you and it's great to see you smile btw. once in a while i check out your facebook profile and saw that bigg bigg smile on your face it makes me happy tho :) finally you're fine. *sigh of relief* whoever that is with you now i hope he's the reason for your smile. hey youu  take a good care of her. :) 

thank you for everything ashley.